ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
