I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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