WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
