I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
