Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
