Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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