the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Randomize
