somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
