i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
