RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Randomize
