How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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