The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
