Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
