She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize