Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
