8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize