i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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