So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
