At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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