i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
