He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
