I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
