The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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