That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Randomize
