sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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