thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
