Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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