so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
