I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
