$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
