You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
My pussy is not your playground.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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