i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I am one with the molecules
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
