i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
