Got a toothbrush?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
