You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize