In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Randomize
