the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
