WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize