If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
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