yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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