He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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