your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I know her cup size but not her name....
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