TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
The feeling are messing with the penis
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
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