I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
