I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
