Pregnant stripper...not hot.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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