I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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