i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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