So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
