The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
