So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
