why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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