After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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